Moms’ “You Too Can Be President” Speeches Now to Include Insufferable Little Assholes
Rochester, Minn. A gathering of American moms announced that they would be giving the “you too can be president” speech to children, regardless of rationality, temperament, or obvious mental deficiencies. “I used to tell my son, ‘Study hard, behave yourself, and you too can be president,’” says local mom, Margaret Van Margaritaville. “Jesus, I’m such …